Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Happy Birthday Little Duck!

*written 10/13/14


One year ago today, you were just a stubborn baby that wouldn't come out!

One year ago today, I was terrified, excited, nervous, and so ready. I had read all the books, done the classes, been around plenty of babies. I was ready for you. But I had no idea....

One year ago today, I was a totally different person. You have changed my whole world for the better. You have made me stronger yet more vulnerable. You have made me laugh so hard. But also cry like a baby. You have made me confident. But also second guess my every move. You have shown me a love I never knew existed. You gave your dad and I the family we always dreamed of.

One year ago today, I had no idea what the year ahead would bring. This year has been such a joy! You have been such a fun baby and I can't wait to continue watching you grow and learn. There have been major frustrations and some bad days, but those are so easy to forget when you giggle or give a me a snuggle. It is such a blessing to be your mother. I am honored to spend every day with you and help you become the little person you are meant to be.  I love you!

*written 10/14/14


Where has the time gone!?!?  I feel like this was just yesterday.

But on your first birthday, I'd like to share with you my wishes for you as you grow.

I wish that you keep that beautiful smile and laugh. It brightens every room and makes the day of anyone who sees it. Continue to smile and laugh often and easily. It's a wonderful quality!

I wish that you are strong (or stubborn as some people might call it) like your momma.  Know that you have a voice and that it deserves to be heard, even if not everyone agrees with it. But also know that it's important to listen to other opinions. And know when to ask for help. That's a hard one for your mom :)

I wish that you have your dada's curiosity. I hope you want to learn about anything and everything. That you explore, read, and research all that interests you.

I wish that you show compassion. Be kind. Period. Be generous with your talents. Help people when they need, even if they don't know they need it.

I wish that you have the happiest childhood! That you always know how much you are loved. And that you always feel supported. Happy birthday Little Duck!  I love you so much!



Monday, March 17, 2014

When I grow up I want to be a...

When I was growing up, I never knew how to complete that sentence. I was the kid who couldn't pick a college until the last minute, let alone chose a major. There were lots of things that sounded interesting but nothing that seemed to quite fit right. When I first accepted my job at Butler University as an advisor to students undecided about their majors, my family and friends gave me so much grief. The blind leading the blind.  I have always been an exploratory student myself.  But there is one thing I have always known, I wanted to be a mom.

Family has always been important to me. I am very fortunate to have a loving family.  There are a lot of us, which means I have always been surrounded by the love, guidance, and support of family. I knew I wanted to add to that madness and have some of my own kids someday. Whenever I looked to the future and pictured myself as a mom, I saw a house full of boys. As a tomboy, I never imagined I'd have a girl.

When we got pregnant, even though we didn't find out what we were having, I knew from the beginning that it was a girl.  To be honest, I was terrified. What was I going to do with a girl!?!?  I knew this had to be some kind of payback, karma, for being such a pain in the you know what to my mother.

Now that Willa is here, I know that everything I've done my whole life has lead me here, to being Willa's mom. I have no idea what I'm going to do if she ends up being a girly girl. Thank goodness Willa has aunts, godmothers, and cousins to help me! But I've always loved a good challenge. I love to learn and try new things. Willa is going to push me to be a new and better person. She isn't even talking yet and I can already see how profoundly she has changed me. Being a mom to a daughter has made me softer, yet stronger. More compassionate, yet defensive. More giving, yet more protective. I'm sure I would have grown similarly if Willa had been a boy, but for me, having a girl was perfect.